Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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