We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
