My friends, they love my intelligence
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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