no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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