I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
