I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
