I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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