When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
