Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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