Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
