Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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