THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
