There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
