My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
