You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
