Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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