Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
It's never too late to be topless.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
