He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
