I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
