My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm at about main and main street
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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