I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
