am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
