never play flip cup with pint glasses
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
