Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
