her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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