Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
It was confusing and full of hummus
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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