We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
