i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Randomize