The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize