whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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