I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
should my penis look like a turkey
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize