Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
