Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
