Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Randomize
