Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
She announced her abortion via fbk
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
