This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I could make wine with my vomit
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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