I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
