just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
