Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
