She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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