Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
No subtext here. People are naked.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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