I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
wow bdsm is so cute
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
