yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
