is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
