Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
how does that bad decision feel?
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