He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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