omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
