I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize