Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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