....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
My life is pants optional.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
