Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
