So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize