Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
