idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I didn't notice because vodka
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
