We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
The air taste purple.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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