hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Randomize
