sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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