I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
