I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize