so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
