at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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