S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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