I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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