Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
